Life Vibes 365

Who do you turn to when your world seem crashing and all hope is gone. When life’s challenges and struggles have become over burdensome and the odds seems against you?

Do you have a friend, do you have someone you can rely on. Is that person dependable? Can they keep your secret and assurance that your secret remains buried with them till eternity? So what happens when your closest confidant betrays your trust and opens up to others about your private life?

Mark was so confused and in his confusion he went to his friend. His only true friend whom he had sworn secrecy with that no matter what happens matters between them will forever remain private.

He had impregnated his wife’s closet friend and was about to be found out. What a relief to know that there is someone he could confide in. Someone he could share his problems with.

After so many hours of deliberations, Mark left his friends home fully satisfied and assured that the matter will remain private at least until their plans about the pregnancy had materialized. Finding a way to terminate this pregnancy without Ellen’s knowledge of how she lost her pregnancy was the master plan. They had hatched out a careful plan to invite her out and mix some concoction with her drink and the rest will be history.

Marks marriage was on tenterhooks, his world seemed crushing. Maria his wife has become so determined to destroy everything-around Mark. She was never going to allow her best friend infiltrate her home with her child. Many pleas never seemed to yield results and it was just a matter of time before final events towards separation begun.

Maria falls sick and is rushed to the hospital. Upon her arrival she goes through normal routine and some tests. Perhaps the most unexpected test was the one for pregnancy which the doctor forced due to her condition on arrival.

Results come out and Maria is also pregnant. This twist has remained the most amazing surprise to Mark who never knew that his closest confidant was eating his ‘Apple’ in secrecy.

Due to health issues the couple had no sexual relations for over three months. So how did Maria become pregnant during this period when both parties had decided to abstain until she fully recovered. Sometimes they say ‘what’s hidden is not really hidden’. And the people we trust might not be who we taught they were.

Unknown to Mark, his dear wife sought comfort in his best friend during challenging times in their marriage, and one thing led to the other. Before they understood what was happening, they had fallen in love which has resulted in the pregnancy.

Mark has impregnated his wife’s best friend and his best friend has also impregnated his wife.

Want to read the full story, Follow my blogs as full ‘secrets’ unfolds..

There is this interesting saying I love so much. It goes like, ‘Life is Full of Choices’. I appreciate the wisdom in this saying because without choices most people will blame others for their predicaments. When a young girl is confronted with three men to choose from. All very rich, of course a pre-requisite for almost all women. However, One is a drunk, the other rich but stingy, and a womanizer.

They say ‘until you test the waters, you wouldn’t know whats in it’. This was the story of a beautiful 25 year old university graduate. She was the talk of the campus. Very beautiful but arrogant and rude to every boy on campus. The boys wandered what might make such a beauty so rude. She turns down all the offers for outings and parties. Not ready to compromise her stands for any guy. Oh, how many of the guys adored this beauty from afar and many wishful thinking about a possible outing with miss beauty.

Three years just passed by and its now the final year. Jake one of the greatest admirers of miss beauty realizes that soon his chances of ever seeing this beautiful lady he has always dreamed about were becoming very slim so he masters courage to approach her. He told himself ‘there’s no harm in trying’.

Normal lecture hours are over, and miss beauty as usual is left alone in the class. Her normal practice has been to leave after everyone is gone. On this fateful Tuesday Jake decides to try the water and dare the consequences. He approached miss beauty and to his surprise he was received very nicely. ‘Sometimes what people seem like from afar, might not be what they really seem like’. This was Jake’s greatest surprise of his life. He asked himself very subtly, so what have I been waiting for all these years…

As they started chatting, it was very clear to Jake that he might just be lucky. However, he was cautious, in order not to give himself so much hope, he only offered to be friends with miss beauty. As they chatted for almost an hour miss beauty ask Jake this question, which left him confused till he finished his education at the university and its still on his mind even today.

Wandering what the question was? ‘ Can you help me choose from these three very rich men who have all proposed to me? They all seem nice, but I just realized that one is a Drunk, the other is Stingy, and the last one is a Womanizer.

Wandering what Jake’s answer was… Check out my next Post, Part two of ‘Drunk, Stingy Or a Womanizer’

Rosh found himself in a dream land. He was busy hugging and kissing a lady he had always fantasized about. The joy of being with this beautiful lady was so pleasant to Rosh that when he woke up he was busy squeezing his pillow. To his amazement his spouse was wide awake looking on as he enjoyed his dreamland adventure.

His wife burst out with a loud voice ‘what was the meaning of that?’ Looking so tamed and confused Rosh quickly jumped out of the bed and headed straight to the shower. That way he avoided the question from his wife which of course he didn’t have any convincing answer.

“We really aren’t responsible for our dreams–EXCEPT we are more likely to dream about things that we have thought about recently.”

But sometimes random things just creep into our dreams, and it has nothing to do with anything I guess, but in the case of Rosh, he had always been attracted to Lucy although he was happily married.

Dreams don’t have to have any reflection in reality, but the emotions were real. Rosh was so much entangled with this dreamland romance.

This brings me to this very important question. Is being attracted to someone an emotional affair or not. An emotional affair I believe is when one or both persons share an intimate part of themselves with the other.

Even that by itself, however, does not define an emotional affair. That could describe nothing more than a good, healthy friendship, although if it is with a member of the opposite sex, it probably gets very close to crossing some lines.

Recently I heard a story which was very ‘yucky’ to discuss. The wife of a bishop confessed to being attracted to a male member of the same church. Could this be serious? If you were in such a struggle what will be your decision?

We live in a day and time when attraction and lust seem to be confused to mean an affair. Is it possible to be attracted to a member of the opposite sex but yet not develop anything explicit out of such relationships?

During some of the worst seasons of a marriage, It can be possible that any of the parties might have an affair, and it usually started out as an emotional affair.

Wanting something else apart from what ones has could be the first pointer. Rosh was happily married but he just wanted to be with this other lady he was still attracted to.

Could this happen to anyone? How do we control the lust that is borne out of attraction for someone else other than your wife or husband?

Having a crush might not necessarily end up in an emotional affair, however wanting something else either than what you have could be dangerous.

Is liking someone the same as ‘wanting’ them?

Watch Out for my next blog as the story unfolds…

What happens when you are confronted with a question you are not prepared for and yet have to answer immediately? What if you know the answer, but it might go against you if you just spoke out?

This was the Dilemma of Jake…

 Joseph Campbell  says “The big question is whether you are going to be able to say a hearty yes to your adventure.” –

After many years of dreaming and fantasizing, hoping against all hope that miss beauty will surely end up with him one day. Jake is rather faced with a situation of having to help make a choice for some men he didn’t even know. Could this be the reason miss beauty was so welcoming? ‘That she only needed a second opinion from somebody, and Jake just happens to be at the right place at the right time for her? This was Jake’s greatest life challenge. He is faced with the toughest question of his life.  Should he answer, or should he make an excuse and hope that someway somehow she might turn all of them down and end up with him?

After almost an hour of silence, Jake answered and said ‘love they say is blind, but marriage will open your eyes’. This was the only possible statement from Jake.  What did he mean, how does this answer the question posed to him by his dream lady, and what message was he trying to pass on to miss beauty? The complete answer;

Once upon a time, in the remote village of Akimland, lived a very wealthy man. Mr Shum as they affectionately called him was so much addicted to alcohol, he was quite stingy and a known womanizer, but because of his wealth, almost every family in the village wanted to betroth their daughter to him in marriage. To these families that was the easiest way to buy their way out of poverty. After he marries the young ladies, he maltreats and beats them up messlessly anytime he comes back home drunk and this was tolerated by the families of the young ladies, because he very wealthy and as long as he kept sponsoring the family he could have his way.

During one of his ‘beat ups’, unfortunately one of his wives lost an eye, and another died. Even the crime officers in the village overlooked these heinous crimes, because he could easily ‘buy his way out’. As if that was not enough, his stinginess only extended to his wives. He ends up spending all the money he has in his pocket on friends at the beer parlour, and refuses to give anything to the young girls he married back home. He will always make an excuse of paying so much to their families and having nothing left, only to cover up his stinginess. As a womanizer, adding to his ‘stock’ of young girls was just a way to ‘satisfy his libido’. Mr Shum didn’t care about what happened to any of the wives, to him, only the latest woman mattered until new one appeared.

They say this often about stingy men, that ‘‘when their wives or inamorata ask for some cash, they take over a century to decide. It doesn’t matter whether they have the money or not, they are just stingy.’’

Which lady would want to dream of such a life partner, even if they have the whole world? This was a question Jake posed back to miss beauty as he paused to give her a stare.

The look on her face at this time was one of ‘bewilderment’; could this be her possible future with any of these three men?

As she reflected on the ‘almost a sermon’ by Jake for an answer, she said to herself ‘No Drunk, Stingy or a Womanizer’ but rich man is going to be  my focus now, but to finish my education and become a self reliant person in the future.

Seven years just passed-by, and at a dinner party organized by Jake’s Company, where he worked as the Executive director, his path crossed again with his dream lady. This time round she gives him her name as Jacky.

One thing led to the other and eventually, ‘they married and lived happily ever after.

The Story of Bob, the Phone Addict.

It’s 9 o’clock pm on Monday and Bob hasn’t returned home. He usually gets home by 5pm on every day after work and he has never gone beyond this time.

But on this fateful Monday morning everything changed. Bob loved his family but he was addicted to his Phone, and he’ll never leave it anywhere not even when he goes to use the bathroom. He is either chatting or browsing, or checking the stocks almost anytime and anywhere in the house.

Several complains from Mrs Bob about his phone habit did not yield any result. Gradually she begun to have suspicion about Bob and his phone habits. What could be keeping him so busy on his Phone always?

They say ‘curiosity killed the cat’, whatever this means, that was the best way Mrs Bob could satisfy herself. She needed to be sure and satisfy her curiousity. Were they just normal chats and business as usual that keeps Bob busy on his phone always, or was it something else?

The good book says ”And a man shall leave his mother and father, and cling to his wife. And the two shall be one”. Literally meaning, ‘nothing is worth taking our attention’, especially in marriage. This was the sermon at church on this Sunday morning. As the pastor preached with illustrations, he seemed to have prepared this message with Bob in mind . How joyful the heart of Mrs Bob was, as she sat nodding at every phrase, her eyes were almost literally glued to Bob next to her.

Bob on the other hand was just busy doing his own thing with his phone even in church and he seemed to ‘be in the same place with her, but not in the same space’.

He was a loving father, he made all the money and provided the needs of his family. Their three kids, Jesse, Lancelot and Jenny, attended the best school in the city. From afar this was a very beautiful family and they were loved in their community.

The phone rang, and Bob for the first time was fast asleep. After ringing for awhile Mrs Bob picks up the phone and a message just pops up. “hi Bob, I haven’t heard from you this morning. Miss you and wanted us to chat for awhile”. Christy…

Christy, who could she be? Could she be the reason Bob has been so attached to his phone always? These questions kept lingering on the mind of Mrs Bob. What’s Bob’s defense? The quarrel about who ‘Christy’ was, started so early that fateful Monday morning and for the first time even the neighbors heard loud voices coming from the Bob’s residence.

No defense was enough to quench the fire that has been lit by this message. The quarrel dragged and dragged until Bob grabbed his car keys and moved the car out of the house to to work.

It’s 4 o’clock pm and Bob’s phone starts calling Mrs Bob, but her anger had gotten the greater part of her, so she won’t answer. The phone kept ringing, and ringing, and ringing… no response. At 4.30 pm and Mrs Bob’s phone started ringing again but still she’ll not answer.

9 o’clock pm and Bob has not returned home. Now confused, she starts calling Bob’s phone which rang for awhile but no answer and eventually switched off. Where could he be? As she kept asking herself this question, her phone rang. The call this time was from the hospital in the city. Bob had gotten involved in an accident on his way home and unfortunately has passed on. Aparently he was typing and texting whiles driving.. his last text message was to Mrs Bob. ”Dear, I wanted to say am sorry for my actions, and promise it wont happen again. But you never answered. I’m sorry”. This was the reason for Bob’s call, but he missed the opportunity.

She inquired what time this happened and she was told around 4 o’clock pm. Wow, that was when Bob starting calling her. It was too late for her to hear the last words of Bob, her beloved friend, husband, father and life partner.

Bob never got it right with his Phone habits, but maybe he could have asked for forgiveness and apologized at the last minute before his home call, but it never happened. Was the Phone so important to Bob? and Was anger the best reason not to answer a call from a loved one on Mrs Bob’s part?

For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind. Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Just a forth night ago, Ghana celebrated May 9. The worst disaster to ever hit the country in the history of its football, witnessed on May 9, 2001. I just woke up to discover that just so soon, nineteen years (19) has just gone by. What a shock. May the souls of our beloved Rest in Peace. However, if nineteen years can just pass in the twinkle of an eye, then this clearly tells us that man doesn’t have so much time on planet earth. There are many blunders that youth commit thinking there’s so much time on their hands but I beg to differ as it might be too late to make up for all the time lost doing nothing or wasting the little that has been amassed over time.

Many Ghanaian’s, especially men, get to their old age realizing that they have spent all the time during their youth chasing after shadows. Whilst some are busy chasing after young ladies and spending exorbitantly and splashing them with expensive gifts, others are too busy partying their youthful energies and wealth off.

Assuming you were 25 years nineteen years ago before May 9, it means by 2020 you should be around 44 years old. Life they say begins at 40 years and if this is anything to go by, then it means you should have prepared yourself and laid all the foundations that the rest of your life will thrive on by 40 years. However, majority of our youth prefer to wait till about retirement before they start rushing to buy a land or put up a house. Forgetting that by age 60, their energies would have evaporated and they cannot achieve much.

In this post I am sharing FIVE (5) common mistakes that when avoided can propel you to a good future.

1. Not saving from your Income

Little drops they say makes a mighty ocean. But unfortunately many young folks tend to think they must save only when they have huge sums of money. Taxi drivers, masons, mechanics to name a few, believe they will always have some money coming in everyday, so majority of them do not have any plan to put a little of what comes in daily aside for their future. Recent lock-down situation made it very clear that majority of these young artisans and many other young folks had nothing as savings even to sustain their life for 2 weeks. Spending all your income, is like a poultry farmer who eats all the eggs and expects to expand his business. Soon he will go bankrupt. No matter how little your income, determine to put some little into savings and see how in no time your little drops will eventually turn-out to become a mighty ocean.

2. Not taking the initiative to acquire land and Start Building

I want to start by saying ‘building a house has nothing to do with ones income; it has to do with making wise decisions and sacrifice’. You often hear young folks say; my income is not much so I am waiting to have a good job and a good income before I start looking at building my house. This is a blunder every young man must avoid. Acquiring land is the first stage to building and not the building itself. In this era, there are many real estate companies who are offering land at much discounted prices and in installments. This is an advantage for every young person to explore in Ghana. It is better to put up a kiosk on your own land than to rent and pay exorbitant prices to landlords. Take the initiative and start planning towards acquiring a land with the little monies that passes through your hands and make the effort to build and give it time, the outcome is, soon you’ll become your own landlord in the very near future. Remember this that you cannot prosper by living in someone else’s house and paying so much rent. The landlord always becomes richer and the tenant poorer.

3. Wasting Money on Irrelevant Stuff

Pass by the pups and bars on weeknights and you see many young men and women enjoying themselves. Nothing against having fun once a while, if that’s your style, after all, they say ‘all work and no play makes jack…’, so why not? Have some fun but don’t make it a habit because this is one of the ways our finances are drained as youth. What many do not realize is that you are contributing to the pup or bar owner’s wealth at your own expense. Don’t waste your time and money hanging out with friends who themselves are ‘going nowhere to happen’. Too much hanging out is one of the poverty agents every young person must avoid.

4. Living beyond your Budget

‘Cut your coat according to your size’, is one saying I love so much. This tells every young person to avoid the (Big Guy Syndrome) and focus on achieving something meaningful for the future. Acquiring an expensive car is not a bad idea, but if that takes all your savings then it is not a well informed decision at some age. Rather acquire a car which you can service easily without having to go through the hassle of falling on your savings just to maintain. Rent an affordable place and focus on building your own house. Don’t run into debt because you are living beyond your budget. Stay focused and be disciplined with your finances. Cut down on expenditure you realize is not necessary, like acquiring more shoes, clothes, gadgets. You realize that within the shortest time these things become obsolete and new ones come out. So rather acquire what is needed for living and leave put the extra income into investments which will yield good returns in the future.

5. Trying to impress everyone

Earning a good income does not make any one a solution provider. You have a choice to distribute whatever you have with discretion. This includes your money. It is good to be benevolent, but be careful not to try and ‘leave’ people’s lives for them. To the best of your ability, support family and some friends but don’t do this beyond your budget. Do not allow anyone to force you into a situation where you have to fall on your life’s savings just to supply their needs. They say ‘good men don’t leave long’, this is somehow true, because many good men go beyond themselves to do things for people to their own detriment and this has caused many such ‘good’ men their life’s. So be benevolent, but keep your eyes open and ‘never use the money you don’t have to buy things you don’t need, to impress people who you don’t care about’.

Should you live for the next nineteen years, are you sure you would have made the right choices and also investments enough to give you comfort? A question worth asking.

Photo by Tim Grundtner from Pexels

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